Team Blue!!

So yesterdy was the big day and ta-dah!!!! I was given an answer! it's a BOY!!! yeah! Everything looked good and the ultrasound went well no problems or issues or anything like that so that was good- due date also stayed the same and he currently weighs about 1lb! Just about 4 more months and he will be here finally!

and the wait continues.............

So despite all my hopes yesterday there was no confirmation of boy or girl... Though the doctor said like me he suspects that it's a girl but we will just have to wait a few weeks and see! It was hard enough to wait this long without thinking that the wait wasn't going to kill me so we will have to see how the next wait goes. I hope that all goes well though and I am able to find out for sure! I would like to say that I am brave and patient enough to wait and find out the gender in June when the baby is born but.......... I don't think that I have that kind of patience maybe if I ever have another child I will wait but it's much easier I think when you know! So now the wait for the next 3 weeks to pass will be a long one but I can do it. I suppose eventually I could get some pictures posted on but, I am not so good with that kind of thing so that may be something in time that I learn but in the mean time the wait begins!

I can feel the excitement in the air!

Today there is an amazing vibe! I could feel the excitement as soon as I woke up. Took me about a minute to realize what day it was..... Then when I did it really made my morning very exciting. Pretty much anyone that knows me knows that I am not a fan of Bush. So this day has been a long time in coming for me. I will admit that President Obama was not my first choice in the beginning I was a huge Hillary Clinton supporter but, over time since he won the primary I have actually found that maybe he is the right candidate for the job. I am very optimistic about him at the helm of our country. We need someone who is still able to have a postivie outlook and who believes that change is possible. I feel blessed that my child will be born during such a historic presidency! I still have hope that sometime in my lifetime I will live to see a woman as president. I am sure that time will come. But it's so fantastic! I can just feel the excitement in the air. I have high hopes that even though it will take time that eventually we will be able to surface from the mess that we are in and I know that change starts today.

Team Pink or Team Blue...............

Hoping to find out a week from Thursday!

To have or not to have.....

So with the baby coming religion is brought up as an issue. Whether or not I will choose to have the baby blessed or not or if I will allow he or she to attend primary and honestly I am still on the fence where both of those issues are concerned. I will say this I am a spiritual person I believe in the holy trinity and a higher being concept- but, organized religion? Not so much. I was raised going to church but it just never seemed right to me. There was always something that was a little off and I think that would be about the people. Most of the people were nice but I remember thinking you know here we are supposed to be preaching about loving one another and not being taught to judge but you know what I saw that sort of thing happening all around me. People who wouldn't let their children play with other children because they had different beliefs then they did. Wow what fantastic examples you are! Is that supposed to make you better? You sure aren't setting a "christ like example" by doing that. If anything you are showing how close minded you are and people like you make me sick. People like you are why I don't believe in organzied religion. You know it's not just the mormon religion that practices that sort of "hate" it would be all religions. Isn't the goal of religion to recruit those who are lost and out of the fold? How are you expecting to do that when you islolate them and make them defensive and offeneded by your actions? That is a question that I ask. Do I want to raise my child around people like that? I was very lucky that my parents weren't the type of people to restrict who my friends were because of choice of religion or lack there of. I had many friends who didn't attend church when I was younger and those who attended different churches. That didn't make them a bad person they were just raised differently. Religion can serve a function but it can also be used as a tool of judgement. I hope that the world my child grows up in regardless of whether I choose to have her participate in religion or I don't not be subject to some of the things that I saw or even expierenced by watching people and friends that I love being treated different because they attended a different church then what was considered "the norm". What I hate the most is those that try to push their beliefs on you and when you tell them that you aren't interested they become defensive. I could have swore that when we were born onto this earth there was this word... and the meaning of the word that really were supposed to be the case scenario. Free agency. Freedom of choice. Why bother to get defensive because someone has a different view of things and life then you do? Oh well not a big deal. But as for whether I am going to have the baby blessed or not... I really don't know where the church is concerned i feel extremely burned and disillusioned. I really don't think that there is a way to change that because even things that have happened recently didn't help to make that much better..... Oh well though this just proves another point that I really don't want those people to influence the life of my child.

Soon we will be buried in snow....

Don't get me wrong... I like the snow I really do and I know that it serves a good purpose so I am all for it snowing but.... I just wish it would stay off the roads or stay only up in the mountains. I am not saying that because I am a horrible driver in the snow. I wouldn't say it's my favorite thing in the world it's just I dont' trust other drivers that are out on the road with me. I don't pretend when I go out that I have this awesome car that handles like a snow mobile when I am out there i know what my car is capable of and when I watch other people who are driving the same type of car as me or something similar like oh honda civics or toyota corollas who act like we are on the Indy 500 track I think you konw those are the people that I am afraid of... But it's been snowing almost every day for over a week now. It doesn't ever seem to want to let up I feel like soon enough we will have to litterally dig out every morning in order to get somewhere- Though the bright side to this would be living in such a dry climate we really need all the stored moisture and water that we can get so that makes it better but still I just think that snow would be more useful up in the mountains than in the valleys unless it just had some kind of special router that would make it so that it avoided the roads and just landed on the grass and rooftops not on walkways either. Hey a girl can wish!

Sometimes I wonder if there possibly wasn't a mix up at the hospital.

Yes... I truly believe that to be a completely legitimate question until I spend time around my father's side of the family. Unfortunatly we all look alike so that sort of basically puts the ki-bosh on that thought but still.... You never know.

Saying that I walked to the beat of a different drum then the rest of the people in my family would be an understatement.
~First would be that I am a very liberal democrat. You will never catch me ever voting Repbulican. Sean Hannity drives me insane sometimes when I am out at lunch and I know is show is on I just can't help but listen to the crap that just seems to flow without thought out of his mouth.... Then I wonder if he know how egotistical he sounded thinking that everything that he thinks is right and how we wouldn't be in this mess if Obama had been elected president... Then I have to ask myself wow... You would think that he was the idiot that was in office the last 8 years- He just needs to realize that this problem was created when Republican was put into office to begin with. Honestly it still surprises me to this day that I find myself drawn to politics and things like that I will even say that I went to many many anti- Mr. Bush rallies. I was there with my signs and ready to March against injustice and my freedom of speech.

I believe even if I do raise this baby alone that it doesn't make me a bad person. I am a huge believer that things happen for a reason and even though sometimes we don't quite understand that at the time the answer shows later. People may not agree with me and think that I am making the wrong decision but who are they to judge? Just because to you it doesn't fit inside a pretty box with pretty wrapping that doesn't mean it's wrong. People may not agree with my decision or the choices that I make in my life but they are my choices I am aware of the consequences... I am aware of the choices and my the reaction to my actions and I don't ask you to agree with the things that I do. I don't ask for pity and I don't ask for support. If you don't agree with me that is fine. If I want opinions on things I will ask for them. I don't expect this to be easy and a piece of cake and that I will be the perfect parent. I am sure that I will make mistakes and I will have a hard time but it's going to be something for me. Things happen for a reason I don't believe that there are mistakes that are just expierences that you learn from. It wasn't something that was planned but it happened for a reason and I intend to treat it that way not as a mistake but as something that was supposed to be.